Int. Bedroom - Day
Jake raises out of bed happily, and makes his way to the kitchen for breakfast.
Cut To
Int. Kitchen
Pete sits depressingly at his glass of juice.
Jake
Ah, what a beautiful day. Don’t you agree?
Pete (depressed)
Yeah, whatever....
Jake (teasingly)
Aww... Still heartbroken over your girl?
Pete
You’re enjoying this aren’t you?
Jake
Noooo. I care. If I didn’t I would not have signed you up for gaytango.com.
Pete
What?!
Jake
I figured you’ll have better luck with a little male bonding. I even got you a date.
Pete
You mother--
(Ding-dong)
Cut To
Jake and Pete answer the door.
The door opens to unveil a beautiful, young lady.
Pete and Jake are both stunned by the beauty of the lady.
Sarah
Hello. I’m Sarah.
Jake and Pete
Hi, Sarah
Sarah
I didn’t disturb you guys did, I?
Jake pushes Pete
Jake
No, you didnt. (seductively) How may I be help you?
Sarah
Well, I just moved into town, and I wanted to know my neighbors. We’re having a housewarming party tonight, so maybe you guys can stop by if you’re not busy.
Pete
Sure, we’ll be there.
Sarah
Sweet, well see you guys later.
Jake and Pete wave goodbye, and closes door.
Cut To
Close Up of Pete
Pete
Wow, she was gorgeous.
Jake
Gorgeous is an understatement.
Pete
I have to get to know her.
Jake
Wait, you don’t think you’re gonna try to get with her?
Pete
Why not?
Jake
Dude, I saw her first. She’s mine.
Pete
I didn’t see your name on her.
Jake
Hey, you had your chance but you screwed that up. Let me show you how a pro gets a woman. Besides, she wouldn’t give you the time of day. She wants a man with…sophistication.
Pete
Are you serious? You really think that?
Jake
I know this. I am willing to bet on it.
Jake thinks for a moment.
Jake
How about we make a wager?
Pete
What, no.
Jake
Come on! I thought you had cojones.
Pete
Hey, I have big cojones.
Jake
Nah, I think I saw them on ebay along with your pride.
Pete
What’s the bet?
Jake
Whoever wins “delicious neighbor chick” don’t have to pay rent for the next two months.
Pete
And no tricks from you.
Jake
No, tricks.
Pete
Deal.
Cut to
Close up
Pete (thinking)
But that doesn’t mean I can’t trick you.
A devious smile stretches across Pete’s face.
Cuts To
Pete makes his way towards the kitchen and opens the refrigerator.
Pete
I hope you like your drink lax flavored. (laughs)
Pete proceeds to mix in laxatives into Jake’ s juice.
Cut To
Jake walks into the kitchen to finish off his favorite beverage. Quenching his thirst, Jake begins to walk towards the porch, until his stomach starts to rumble. Jake bends over in pain and rushes to the bathroom.
Cut To
Jake runs past a smiling Pete into the bathroom.
Cut To
Interior Bathroom
As Jake makes his way towards the toilet, he is devastated to find that it has been wrapped in seran wrap.
Cut To
Close Up – Jake
Nooooooo!!!!!!
Jake opens the door to find a smiling Pete standing before him.
Pete
Its gonna be hard to win a girl with poop on your hands. (laughs)
Jake
Well played, sir. But you just called down the thunder. It’s on.
Cut To
Jake sneaks into Pete’s room, and finds his proactive. Not to be outdone, Jake replaces the contents of the bottle with icy hot.
Cut To
Pete prepares to clean his face for the nearing party. He applies the lotion to his face and lies down.
Cut to
Pete closes his eyes momentarily, then opens them in horror.
Cut To
Jake sits on the couch reading a magazine.
Pete
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
Jake smiles at the sounds of Pete’s pain.
Now upset that Jake has tarnish his boyish good looks, Pete devises another devious scheme to take down Jake.
Cut To
Interior - Jake's room
Pete makes haste to put together his net big scheme. But unknown to him, he is being watched by his rival. Jake makes his presence known.
Jake
Hey, buddy. Whatcha doing there.
Pete
Oh, I just misplaced something and was looking for it.
Jake
What is it that you misplaced? Surely I can find it since it is in my room.
Pete
Ah, nothing important. It'll come up.
Pete makes his way out of Jake's room in dissappointment. Jake lays his arms around Pete's shoulders.
Jake
You know, I love you man. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you around.
Pete (suspiciously)
Thanks, bro. I appreciate.
Pete decides to call his plan a failure and decides to get ready for the party, while keeping out for Jake.
Cut To
Pete enters the bathroom. He inspects the area for any pranks that Jake may have waiting for him. Seeing that the coast is clear, he proceeds to brush his teeth. Pete grabs his mouthwash and takes a swallow.
Cut To
Close Up
Pete starts to gag upon instinct. He sniffs his bottle of mouthwash and begins to shiver at the thought of what has transpired.
Cut To (flashback)
During Jake's bowel malfunction, he took it upon himself to leave a golden surprise in his roommate's listerine.
Cut To
Pete finds himself in blinded by anger. Impulsively, he attacks Jake.
Jake
What's your problem, man?
Pete
You peed in my mouthwash?!
Jake
Oh yeah. (laughs) I got you twice. HA!
Jake throws Pete to the floor and pins him.
Jake
Now I'm on my way to win my prize.
Pete
Oh, no you don't.
Jake and Pete find themselves at each other's throats. The fight eventually lands on the doorstep of their lovely neighbor, Sarah.
Cut To
Interior - Sarah's door way
Sarah opens her door to find the two friends fighting.
Sarah
What's going on here.
Pete
Hey, Sarah. I was wondering if you would like to go out for ice cream sometimes.
Jake
You don't him, he drinks pee. How about you and I hook up?
Sarah looks at Jake and Pete with a baffled look on her face. From behind the door comes another young lady.
Lady
What's going on here, babe? Who are these guys?
Jake (thinking)
Babe?
Jake
Hello, who's your friend Sarah?
Sarah
Oh this is Caitlin, my girlfriend.
Pete
Cool. There you can have her. Now lemme hook up with Sarah.
Jake
No way, man. I'm not dating second string.
Sarah
Uh-- guys. I'm already taken.
Jake
What, by who?
Caitlin
By me.
Jake and Pete are stunned by what the have heard.
Cut To
Door slams in the prankters' face.
The End.
Photos
